Doug Gansler Just Trying To Capture The Youth Vote

Most of us didn't even know it, but Maryland Attorney General Doug Gansler was campaigning long before the democrat launched his bid for governor in September.

Many don't know, but "Frank the Tank," Will Ferrell's
characterin the movie "Old School," was based on Gansler.
We can now trace the campaign back to June 13, 2013, when the Gans kicked off his effort to capture 100 percent of the hearts, minds, livers and, of course, votes of Marylanders ages 18 through 20 364/365. That's the day that The Dougie, who according to BuzzFeed is the nation's tenth hottest AG, held a rager for a large group of underage Maryland voters, including his son, an image of which was captured on Instagram for the rest of Maryland's under-21 voters to see.

This aggressive tactic, many say, will not help the Ganslerator's case for the governor's mansion among the voting bloc of men and women ages 40 through 65, that spans across all races and economic backgrounds, known as "buzzkills" or "naggers."

Ralph Blackman, a member of this voting bloc and the CEO and president of Century Council, a nonprofit which aims to prevent teen drinking and drunk driving, when informed about the incident, told the Baltimore Sun, "Let me pick myself up off the floor here," something we can only assume at least some of the kids at DougFest also murmured.

Upon learning of the party, teenagers across the state were ecstatic.

Gansler (in white) taking pictures at his baller Delaware brofest.
"I heard he's going to make beach week a Maryland state law," said Joshua Brosephson, a 17-year-old high school senior. "I can vote next year, and I plan to vote with my beer."

"I heard that our governor is in a rock band, which is cool," extolled 18-year-old Baltimore native Samantha Brofoferson, adding, "but a governor who is down to party? That is way cooler."

And the Dougster is sticking by his plan. When confronted with the Instagram picture by the Sun, he added a veiled response that was really directed at the teens eligible to vote next year:
"Assume for purposes of discussion that there was widespread drinking at this party," Gansler said. "How is that relevant to me? … The question is, do I have any moral authority over other people's children at beach week in another state? I say no."
In other words, kids: "Vote for me and I will be your first Brovernor."


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All posts are written by Will Wrigley -- a politics nerd, music-lover and a barely comprehensible writer.