Congress Moves 2016 Election To Next Week To Give Us A Break From All That Speculation

WASHINGTON -- In an unexpected move, Congress has decided to move the 2016 presidential election to next week in an effort to cut news agencies some slack for constantly focusing on the 2016 election and candidates a year after President Barack Obama was sworn in for his second term.

The 28th amendment to the United States Constitution moves the next presidential election, originally slated for November 8, 2016, to February 4, 2014. In a rare move of bipartisanship, House Speaker Rep. John Boehner (R-Ohio) and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nevada) released a joint statement explaining the move.

"The media have been talking about the 2016 election since the 2012 election, and considering the amount of time and money spent polling the public about the odds a candidate has of winning the whole shebang, we figured we could just get it over with now. Plus, we both want to know if Hillary is going to run or not. This way the choice is made for her."

The election faces a few obstacles. There have not been any candidates officially announce a run for the top job in the executive office and the Democratic and Republican parties have yet to declare on what day and in which city they will hold their party conventions in order to officially declare a candidate to represent their respective parties.
Supporters of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton
were excited about the new law and quickly moved to
show off their new signs.

Due to the short timing of the election, Congress has been considering a 29th amendment that would allow news organizations to use their polling numbers to decide on a candidate, meaning the election will pit Hillary Clinton versus a Republican opponent that may or not be under investigation for a scandal. The latest Washington Post-ABC News Poll shows that the former Secretary of State is the clear frontrunner for the Democratic nomination and the Republican nominee will probably have a one syllable first name.

Boehner told reporters at the Capitol that "it's clear news organizations already know the outcome of the election. Those polls conducted two and a half years out are clear representations of what we should expect."


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All posts are written by Will Wrigley -- a politics nerd, music-lover and a barely comprehensible writer.