Shutdown, Debt Ceiling Crises: Wow, What A Performance!

"Gravity" and "Captain Phillips" couldn't touch the adrenaline-inducing action that unfolded late Wednesday night.

Dammit that was good theatre. It was so freakin' exciting.

Like, we all thought the U.S. was headed towards its first default in modern history (all on top of a government shutdown). We were biting our nails and on the edge of our seats. And then it was like, BAM, Jordan nails a shot at the buzzer. The senate came up with a solution at the last minute.

I can't get enough! Government employees be damned! The economy be damned! America be damned! I haven't seen such blatant disregard for any good since Miley Cyrus's performance at the VMAs.

Five out of five stars!

The only way to make last night's deal more exciting: If Mitch
 McConnell and Harry Reid hammered out a deal to end the
government shutdown and raise the debt ceiling IN SPACE.

Can we do this every time Congress needs to pass the most basic of bills, let alone those that allow our government to function?!

Oh man. And when human wrecking ball Ted Cruz was all like, "We don't need to fund the government because all of the American people have told me they don't want Obamacare, so I'm going to (almost) single-handedly screw over everything that moves," I was like this guys is CRAZY!

And then when Boehner decided, after the Senate had come to an agreement, that he wasn't going to block the passage of the bill. I was all like DAMN, those tea partiers are gonna be pissed.

It was almost absurd as a Nicolas Cage flick. It had the twists and turns of "Inception." And it was REAL LIFE!

Who needs the movies when we have the Tea Party?