Report: Vaccines Cause Politicians To Say 'Crazy Stuff'

A report released Wednesday shows that vaccines have caused prominent and possible conservative presidential contenders to say crazy things about vaccines.

The report, conducted by the "Centers for Political Drivel Disease Control," states that, "politicians who have been in contact with questions about vaccines have been seen to have serious side effects."

Dr. Common Sense, one of the authors of the study, says that, "the questions about vaccines really appear to have a jumbling affect on the minds of conservative politicians with national ambitions."

Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) freaking out after being asked a
question about vaccines.
The side effects are pronounced.

The most apparent, Dr. Sense says, is "appearing to be pretty stupid." Adding, "Like, can you believe the crazy stuff these politicians say?"

One of the politicians affected by vaccine-related questions is Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.), one of many Republicans eying a run at the White House, who told CNBC Monday that he has seen kids "who wound up with profound mental disorders" after receiving vaccinations.

But Paul isn't the only conservative that has been afflicted by these powerful side effects.

On Monday, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (R) told reporters that parents should have "some measure of choice" when deciding whether to have their children immunized from diseases that could kill them or their friends.

And Tuesday, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) said that some people shouldn't have to be vaccinated if they have "good faith, religious convictions."

When asked why some politicians on the left and right did not stumble when asked about vaccinations, like President Obama and Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker (R), Dr. Sense said, "It's only in a small fraction of the politicians that we see the side effect."

Dr. Sense added, "That's why we think it should be a choice as to whether or not reporters think it's a good idea to ask their political leaders, who might one day be the leader of the most powerful country in the world, about vaccines."


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All posts are written by Will Wrigley -- a politics nerd, music-lover and a barely comprehensible writer.