Obama Hosts Sleepover With New Biffles Raul And Fidel Castro

President Barack Obama shocked the world with an announcement Wednesday of his imminent plans to hold a slumber party with Cuban President Raul Castro and his brother, former president and revolutionary, Fidel.

"We plan on playing hopscotch, making hot cocao and definitely singing into our brushes like we're all Taylor Swift. She's my girl," Obama told reporters while painting his toenails.

Shortly after the announcement, Raul and Fidel strode into the White House carrying sleeping bags and a DVD of the Disney movie "Frozen."
President Obama and Fidel Castro were seen skipping rope
together after singing their hearts out to "Welcome to New York"

The three leaders could be seen skipping towards the West Wing where Obama said he plans to allow Raul and Fidel to do his job for him for "a little while."

Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Florda) did not hide his disdain for the party.

"It's absurd," Rubio said in a press conference. "It's not like I'm upset because I wasn't invited, it's just, like, uggh."

Rubio explained that he will continue his embargo of the slumber party and added, "This president is the single worst negotiator we have had in the White House in my lifetime. Everyone knows that 'Finding Nemo' is better than 'Frozen.'"


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All posts are written by Will Wrigley -- a politics nerd, music-lover and a barely comprehensible writer.