It's Tough Out There for a Fox News Host

Tuesday came and went for "Fox & Friends'" Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade without a phone call or even a text from President Obama inviting them over to the White House.

Instead a ragtag group of hosts from MSNBC was over at 1600 hanging with Barry O.

Rachel Maddow, Ed Schultz, Al Sharpton, and Lawrence O'Donnell were kickin' it back with the prez on Tuesday, Steve and Brian seemed a bit upset.

All the kids at Fox News
felt left out on Tuesday.

"Look who was invited to the White House for a briefing," (real quote) exclaimed Kilmeade yesterday. Kilmeade has apparently suffered an extreme case of memory loss and appeared to be upset and unsure why the kids from another network got to play with the president. 

"He never calls anymore," added Doocy, "It's like he doesn't even like us" (fake quote).

A typical Tuesday evening at the White House.

Kilmeade also lamented, "We used to come over to watch 'The New Girl' every Tuesday; he'd make us hot cocoa. Like, doesn't he even remember we, like, exist?" (really fake quote).

Okay, so they probably didn't feel that bad about not being invited, but the fact that they actually gave this any airtime is nuts (but I guess you have to fill four hours of airtime with something).

The title of this heartwarming movie reflects
the number of times Gretchen Carlson has
 been right about anything.

The fact that Gretchen Carlson said she was not, "surprised by it at all," may be the one and only time that she has ever been right about something when voicing her opinion.

Of course Gretchen Carlson once compared the job of TV show host to that of president, saying that, "It’s the same thing."

Trust me, that is a real quote, taken slightly out of context, but she meant it all the same.

Watching "Fox & Friends," to me, is like going to get cooking classes from Biz Markie (yeah, that dude who sang, "Just A Friend"), it's crazy and a waste of time.

Scratch that.

Taking cooking classes with Biz Markie would be AWESOME.

But if I think Fox News sucks so much, why should I waste my time writing about it?

Good question.

The answer:

Because sometimes Fox News is funnier than going to take cooking classes taught by Biz Markie.

I'm pretty sure that one day Rupert Murdoch will come out and tell us that Fox News was a giant satirical joke.

Until then, I'll just have to be satisfied knowing that no other television network owner could possibly have stranger looking hands than ol'Rupe.

Seriously, though, look at those things. 

Whoah.

Right?