Today is the the day (re)elect a president

We've come to the end of the road (see image below).

Current and final state of the 2012
presidential election.

If Boyz II Men is now stuck in your head, you're welcome.

But I'm talking about the election. Today is the day to go out, vote, make your voice heard, and select a president.

I've created here a list of preexisting conditions that should help you decide whether you should vote for President Barack "Barry" "The Man" Obama or Governor Willard Mitt "Mitt" Romney.

Humans will vote for
President Obama today.

You should vote for Obama if you:

• Are human 
• Have feelings
• Have an IQ
• Eat food
• Enjoy things
• Like having fun

You should vote for Romney if you:

• Are not human
• Do not have feelings
• Consistently refer to the Midwest as the "Middle East" like Brick Tamland from Anchorman
• Do not eat food
• Do not enjoy anything
• Do not like having fun

Either way, you should go vote. Just remember to keep these conditions in mind when you cast your ballot.