Obama Reveals Gun Control Measures, Turns Out to Be Totally Reasonable

It was agreeable. It was congenial. It left people nodding incessantly to every word that was said.

President Obama unveiled his gun control measures today, which include 23 executive actions and proposals for laws to be enacted by Congress.

More specifically, this puppy.

The legislation and action Obama laid out surprised absolutely no one.

It even made a puppy yawn.

Obama's speech leading up to the proposals was actually quite touching.

I was on the verge of tears for most of the President's address.

When he turned to the direction of legislative proposals and courses of executive action, however, I found myself getting more and more tired.

Maybe it was the puppy that made me sleepy. Maybe it was the tranquilizers I injected into myself.

Simple logic, as noted by this small child holding
a sign that utilizes carrots to demonstrate a basic
math problem, is similar to the reasoning the president
 used on gun control measures.

But more likely, it was because all of the President's proposals and actions are totally, positively, undeniably...logical.

It's been a slow Wednesday. Honestly, I was kind of hoping that the organization with the acronym and most closely resembles a word scramble, CCRKBA, was right. I was hoping Obama would announce that he was taking away everybody's guns forever and always.

What we got instead was so commonsense that the president brought four very smart elementary school students on stage with him to make his announcement on gun control.

If it's obvious to kids, it really should be obvious to everyone. Right?

That's what any normal person would think.

Still, the president will get tons of push pack. He'll get it from the NRA, the entire gun lobby, from Congressmen, and probably from this guy.

Gun control five!

I'm sure that Wayne LaPierre will host another press conference to explain to the American people why he probably could use a little therapy and a hot chocolate and that guns are the answer to every question ever posed.

It's likely that Wayne is also jealous of the high-fives Obama gave the four kids on stage with him right before he signed those 23 executive actions into law.

Here are some highlights of Obama's proposal to Congress:

• Ban on military-style assault weapons
• Ban on high capacity magazines holding larger than ten rounds
• Background checks on all firearm purchases

It is terrifically understandable.

Ronald Reagan, as seen through
the eyes of Republicans.

The president went as far as noting that in 1994 the Republican reincarnation of Jesus, Moses, and Obi Wan Kenobi combined, also known as Ronald Reagan, wrote a letter to Congress urging legislators to pass the assault weapons ban.

These proposals were so reasonable that dramatic chipmunk stopped dramatizing and the Swiper stopped swiping.

If only it would stop the NRA from NRAing.